Are you curious about why you get angry so quickly? I am too. Often times I ask myself “Daisy you know you don’t want to get upset about this and yet you do …” Many of us were raised with the belief that anger is bad and people should not get or be angry. Although we might be familiar with flight, fight, freeze, we can encounter “fight” at its extremes which can sometimes result in violence, sometimes even death
Growing up as a female in a Latina family, I knew (implicitly and explicitly) that feeling angry and showing anger was not acceptable. One would be perceived as being outright disrespectful, disobedient, mouthing back, and rude. However, there were exceptions. If you were a male it would be okay to be angry and show anger. As a matter of fact, it was actually considered a show of “strength”. I have often wondered how anger that is expressed violently can ever be okay
As a graduate student and a budding therapist who also happens to be a representative of a minority (female and Latina), I find myself struggling with the concept of appropriate anger. I question what is appropriate anger, for whom, with whom, and by whom.